STORIES

One of mt first-year subjects was about non-confrontational communication. One exercise in particular was to always avoid using the word “you”, as in “you should do this” or “you are doing this wrong”… If the person you are talking to is getting defensive, that’s how you can calm things down. Instead, try to reword what you want to say to avoid that language. “What about we do it this way instead?” “Has this option been considered?” or even “That’s not the correct way to do this”. It made a lot of sense and when I tried using it [and] it worked exceptionally well. I now try and use this technique both online and offline any time I want to discuss something that has the chance of getting heated, or if it’s already heated, as a means to soothe the waters. I find it’s especially useful when discussing something I disagree with. Normally I’ll write out the reply naturally, then go back and edit it to reword the “you” phrases before hitting post.” – Female, 30, QLD - Jocelyn